Revenge of the FAN

The six sweetest words on earth have to be "I NEED you, love Natalie Portman..."

But sadly, I'll never know for sure. I'd say that the six sweetest words I really have a chance at hearing have to be "Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith" - and hear them I will, quite often I might add, over the next few weeks.

The buzz for the last of the Star Wars movies surrounds us like a chorus of chainsaws, and I know that I can't get enough.

For many people my age, this saga was our first love. Don't get me wrong, I've progressed to shamefully dirty sex with women each more beautiful than the last, but it is where many of us first got that spring in our steps.

Actually, as a part of my own personal hype for Episode III, I spent last weekend re-watching all 5 of the Star Wars films, and while I was doing that I realized something:


I am a fucking dork.



... but I also realized that doesn't bother me.

As the biggest fan of these movies that I know, I am the receptacle for all the "you know the prequels sucked, and really so did Return of the Jedi" that people feel like tossing out. And, for a time I felt a little bad or almost responsible. It's always an awkward position when people trash something that you think is great.

But the more times I heard the words "Jar-Jar Binks" preceded with "oh, come on" or followed by some variation of "fuckin sucked," the more I realized that, no matter how many people hated these movies, I don't have to feel like the village idiot for enjoying them.

When people try tried to engage me in conversation about why these movies did or did not suck, I never really felt like I had a solid argument to justify my love for them. My usually surgically-precise gift of articulation failed me worse than trickle down economics.

And, I have to admit that it bothered me to not be able to defend something that I held so closely to my heart, especially in the face of valid criticisms. It plagued me until the second that I remembered that sometimes you are just a fan.

It's the same as rooting for a sports team. Maybe you liked the color of the team jersey, maybe you lived in the same city the team claimed to be from, or maybe they won the Championship the first year you watched, and even though they haven't won a single game since, it doesn't matter. You're a fan.

Being a fan is a lot like an old friendship; there is enough good stuff in the bank that you can look past whatever ups and downs you find yourself in, and I think that's where a lot of Star Wars fans find themselves these days.

For crying-out-loud, these movies formed the foundations of my morality! Much to the chagrin of my Mom and Dad, the countless hours of religious training didn't do half as much for my ability to tell right from wrong as seeing a green lightsaber clash with a red one.

I still don't live in a "black" and "white" world! Every issue has always been either "green" or "red" with me. (I'm sure it will also come as very little surprise that, in my head, the Election of 2004 was the Red States versus the Green States, but getting back on topic...)

I'm glad that there is one more Star Wars movie on the way.

Will it be a cinematic masterpiece? No.

Since this IS peoples last time to get a new Star Wars movie, will it get more favorable reviews than the other prequels got? Probably.

Will it change the lives of people the way A New Hope did in 1977? Doubtfully.

Am I going to be there at the midnight showing smiling like a retarded kid who accidentally brushed his hand against his penis for the first time? Yes!

...because, simply, I am a fan of these movies.