Nobody's THAT Goode

As you may or may not know, I love 50's and 60's rock and roll music.

I love early Elvis, I love Jerry Lee Lewis, and I think that in a perfect world, Christmas would be the holiday where we celebrate the birth of Chuck Berry!

(It'd be called Chuckmas, and it would be much the same as Christmas, but with MUCH better carols.)

However, I need to address something that's been gnawing at me for some time now...

In his timeless classic Johnny B. Goode, Chuck sings that this Johnny could "play the guitar like ringing a bell..."

When, in truth, it's just a lie!

First of all, it takes two hands to even HOLD the guitar! A bell can be rung with a simple flick of one wrist!

A bell has never needed to be re-strung!

You don't need a strap on a bell!

A guitar has an infinite number of notes organized into scales, keys, modes, etc... while a bell produces merely one single note.

I could go on, but you see what I'm getting at.

Chuck, I don't care about tax evasion, I don't care about moody behavior, and I don't even mind if you want to open a restaurant so you can put a camera in the bathroom and watch women as they shit...

just don't insult my intelligence.