Sometimes It Doesn't Go The Way You Think It Will…

If you have to tell someone that you’re a celebrity, then you're not. I’m sure that’s just common sense… But, if you end up becoming one, then that is the mother of all told-ya-so’s!!!

Now, I understand that I’m not an according-to-Hoyle-celebrity, but that doesn't stop me from trying to convince my girlfriend that I am. I spend hours telling her that she’s lucky to be going out with a celebrity and it makes her furious. It's quite a fun game, that sometimes pays off in surprisingly pleasant ways.

One night we went to the local heath food restaurant for dinner, and as we’re waiting for our food, this guy keeps looking over at us. After a little while, he starts walking toward the table.

Now, you might know where this is going, but at the time I had no idea. I assume that when a stranger is walking toward me, I’m finally gonna get that long-overdue ass kicking.

Instead, the guy very timidly leans over and says, “hey - I just wanted to say that I saw your show last night and I thought it was great. You're very funny.”

…and right in my girlfriends face! Out of the corner of my eye I can see this look of disbelief wash across her face! It’s priceless! I can’t thank this guy enough for helping me prove my girlfriend wrong!

So, naturally, I do the only thing I can… I respond, “hey you clod, can't you see I'm trying to eat my fuckin’ dinner here?!??!”

Then I spend the rest of the night talking about how right Eminem is about the fans.

See, my girlfriend lives and works an hour-and-a-half away from me, which is hard. It’s also one of the things that makes brushes with (my own) greatness so much fun. I don’t get to see her that often, so to be able to show off when she’s around is the best.

Sometimes it doesn’t go the way you think it will, though…

My girlfriend was telling me that earlier today, some of the girls around the office were talking to a new girl about comedy. The New Girl said that she thought it’d be great to date a comedian.

So, I asked my girlfriend if she told ‘em it’s actually a drag because comics think that they’re celebrities. But, she said that she wasn't really involved with the conversation… which continued.

The New Girl says that having a comic for a boyfriend must be great because he could make you laugh when you're depressed, which must be non-stop fun! The New Girl even says that she went to see some comedy last weekend, and that she thought one of the comics was cute, but decided not to talk to him after the show.

If you’ve read any of my previous entries, then you know why I stopped her and asked if she directed The New Girl to this very blog, (specifically, "Girls, Girls, Girls!" posted below.)

At this point, she told me to stop interrupting because I was wasting her daytime minutes. (What a way to treat a celebrity!)

Someone asked The New Girl where she saw the show, and she replied Nags Head, which my girlfriend still didn’t think anything of. She didn’t even think much of it when The New Girl says that she was at Laff Trax in the Ramada.

But, when The New Girl says the comic that was the object of her little crush had "all these crazy tattoos on…” my girlfriend starts to pay attention! One of her coworkers takes a picture of YOURS TRULY off her desk and shows it to The New Girl and says, “was this the comic?”

Let's just say that there’s more to this story, but I’ll have to finish it later… Two very attractive girls at my house are about to become so much more than coworkers.

Sometimes it doesn’t go the way you think it will… but just sometimes, it goes even better. Hey - that’s just the life of a celebrity.