UN-Lucky Star

Last week I read that Madonna fell off a horse and broke her hand, collar bone and cracked three ribs.

The weird part is that, just like you, I don’t think that I could have cared less.

If anything, I was proud of the horse! If I could have found a way, I’d have cut my hand off and sent it to England for some one to pat him on the head with it. As it is, I spent the rest of the day trying to fill an envelope with carrots, sugar cubes and gratitude.

The girl who re-invented re-inventing yourself got the horse as a birthday present from her husband, director Guy Ritchie. The whole event tells me a few things:

1.) Even though he can’t speak, a horse has his own way to critique celebrity-written children’s books.

2.) Even if you have a seemingly limitless amount of cash, bad things happen to people who spend that much money just to say, “look who just turned 47… again.”

3.) Even though our society doesn’t remember, if there is a God, he never forgets who did and who didn’t spend the mid-through-late 80’s writhing around humping a crucifix.

But, in a perfect world, I’d like to say that the incident tells me this: After a fight with his mediocre actress-wife a few days before her birthday, Guy Ritchie saw the Biography Special on Christopher Reeves.