Let Freedom Swing

In America we love our freedom, but I've noticed some people have MORE freedom to love.

What are you talking about, Ray? Everyone is equal in this country.

Well, look at a guy like Tommy Lee. When he first saw Pam Anderson at a party, he introduced himself by licking the side of her face. Just walked over to her and licked-the-fuckin-side of her head.

That's more freedom than I have! It's not that I haven't ever wanted to walk up and lick a girls face, but I don't have that kinda freedom. You know why I don't but Tommy Lee does?

It's not money or fame... it's because he's got a dick like an aluminum softball bat.

No one even has to KNOW its that big for you to enjoy that kind of freedom! The only person who has to know that is you. Then you can go through life doing anything you want, knowing that its gonna be fine because, in the back of your head you're saying "just wait till she sees it."

Look at anyone you know who really plays by their own rules... Anyone who you really think is free, and I can guarantee that they've got a serpent between their legs.

Look at anyone who just does whatever-the-fuck they want with no regard to other people, consequences or even logic and I promise you that you are looking at a man who's lower body can do an impression of an elephant.

I'm sure this knowledge doesn't exactly warm your heart, but at the very least, it explains why the First Lady is always smiling.